When the world turned upside down

Here we are. 2020. The big year we all expected and it is what is it...

I haven't watched Television in almost 10 years. When i did, a couple weeks ago to hear what the media portrays to all of what is happening, i was shocked but not surprised. 
Re-enforced me of why i stay away and cultivate my inner world, inner media, inner broadcasting.
Yet i am still on social media...

Societies where formed through psychological social engineering, mind control, 'the media', religions and usually fear
Imagine you wouldn't have watched TV nor have had social media these days...
Imagine a world without algorythms that read your emotions, without the A.I. that takes better decisions as you, cause you are too emotional
Being offline is the new luxury, the new liberation it seems
Unplugging from the virtual Matrix we bought into, unplugging from desires that have been dictated to entire populations, liberating from patterns that have been installed over centuries 

What if social media is designed to make you feel and think certain ways

What if we are not free in our thinking and so forth our decision makings anymore...

Going vegan was the best choice, such as focusing on music, art and the good in every moment, even in utterly flawed humans and myself of course. 
Because we create our future, our life out of every moment, out of every single breath, every thought, every choice, every focus, every intention we set. So let's focus on creating a beautiful world, a beautiful life by integrating the shadows that try to threaten us in this big movie, called life. 
Vitamin B12, Chlorella, Vitamin D, Omega3, no sugar...just saying...




Humanity not only mass extincted various species on this beautiful blue planet, now it has managed to come to a mass extinction for itself
Heavy consumerism, heavy capitalism, greed, power hunger, materialism, you name it, some call it the Anti-Christ, have brought us to where we stand now economically, politically, sociologically, emotionally on the micro and macro cosmic-level, of this unique planet, where we  once came as visitors


The coming ages, Satyuga will be rooted in spirituality, love, unity, wisdom, compassion, grace,  equality and will need more sophisticated, aetherical, lighter ways of living and being in unity consciousness and Truth. Sat means Truth
We are transcending the old Kalyug times. Before the dawning of the sun, it gets darker...



In the Aquarian age, intelligence is sensitivity and sensitivity is intelligence
Please celebrate your divine feminine, your divine masculine, be in the now, breathe deeply, smile to your heart
Dance, laugh, cry, sing, transmute, alchemize, unplug, feel deeply, love someone, love yourself, love animals, appreciate nature, tap into the love in your heart, develope, elevate, create peace



All that is happening now, is a goodbye of a dark age that had the best of us...

Mysterious ways

We all know, life works in mysterious ways...

One moment we find ourselves in a scenario and in the next we are in a completely different place.

I have learned that living goes in spirals. We always come back to what we have experienced at some point but now with a broader state of mind and circumstances changed.

Since i am practicing radical forgiveness, everything is happening for me instead of to me
Life works in my favour and all that is is serving me and the journey i am on.

If you can look at everything as something you have asked for and everything that people are doing is actually done for your highest good, you are living in radical forgiveness.

I'd even say, that such forgiveness is a superpower and opens realms of altered state of mind and heart from which manifesting anything is possible.

So much wisdom, so much learning, letting go, surrendering and yet the one thing that keeps on surprising me in the most fascinating ways is: Love....

The way it flows to us, gives us, we give in to it, we rise and heal in it
It's the most beautiful yet most threatening medicine: for it can destroy and heal you...
Love never gets wise and the cracks are where the light gets in
May i honor my scars, the cracks in my little shell and be grateful for the sweet mystery, that love is bathing me in, constantly and never ending...

what´s valuable

Hey everyone,

lately things are changing and transforming in lightspeed
with the new Moon in Gemini on the 13th of June our new Life changes are being brought forward one more step
There will be two eclipses coming up so things are changing around again so focus on what you want to change, how you envision your life, breathe and start the ride

Due to a wrong move, I have erased all my Blog posts since 2015.
This Blog means so much to me cause it helped me to overcome my writers block and brings me in touch with my writers nature and teaches me by just doing it.
Posts from my time in California are now lost which meant a lot to me
This loss of so many valuable posts taught me something essential-

Sometimes things that are very valuable to us and meaningful and are part of our journey,
are taken away from us suddenly and we have to learn a way of dealing and living with it....

Maybe this is teaching me to let go of my past so there is space for the future
Maybe this is showing me that it doesn't really make a difference if valuable things are there or not, Life goes on and we are in a constant learning, healing, growing, gaining, regaining
Maybe it just teaches me acceptance of loss and the transformation that is required

Another thing that I insist on - Once you see things as they are, you gotta see it as it is but not worse as it is!
If you want to take the lead on your life, then start taking the lead on your emotions and make it simple. 
As simple as possible. Operate from Love
Stop intellectualizing Love
Stop living in your head
Stop excuses
Stop hiding
Stop fantasizing about what could happen and take initiative to make it better than it was yesterday!

In order for something to change you need to change first
You need to be willing to get up
show up differently, think differently, speak differently, feel and see differently, embrace the new you, embrace your best self
More compassion, come from the heart

Transform your Life by transforming your thoughts, your actions, your words, be in sync with your emotions and focus them onto your vision

You are the creator of your life and only you can do this

If you need help, reach out and ask but stop blaiming your disease, the past, your childhood, other people the weather. Take responsability for what was, what is and watch how what will be, changes into something victorious

Now is the time for huge transformations, your transformation!
A new cycle has begun, shedding the old skin of the past seven years, walking forward in confidence, truth and authenticity
Anything you want can be accomplished once you become authentic and take responsability

Stepping into a new cycle and a poem

After the Full moon in Saggitarius and since the beginning of the year which brought pretty intense transformations, we are releasing old cycles that brought heaviness
We are making space for new, intense and enormous life changes

We are moving now into a new 7 year cycle and the things we envision for our life are easier to manifest
See the big picture, put the pieces together of the work that we have done the past years, let go of what is not in your highest alignement and move on with what aligns with you and your hearts vision

Communicate and express yourselve. See your life in different, new ways and allow to understand how to do things differently, live in new ways, make new choices to get new results for more abundance, love and inner peace

Uranus in Taurus for the next 7 years - money, settlement, home, talents, community, luxury, abundance and unexpected blessings all over

We are still working through old stuff but there is more positivity around this time. We just came out of a very cleansing cycle with Pluto which ended mids of May. Now its really time to let those old patterns, sufferings go and step into your new You, your new life and all the different options to create your best life
Stop trying to make things happen. Just make them happen 
Sometimes you have to take a step back from life and let everything unfold as things are rearranging itself now karmically

The next few days with moon in Aquarius
Observe the people in your life, observe your work, how your emotions change, detach a bit if you feel it gives you tension
You will realise how old attachments have changed and how people have changed or how you can now move on more easylie 
Find a sense of inner peace so things can fall into place. Not over night but things are going to be different from what they were
Lots of positive things going on. Value is added, hearts desires will manifest more easylie
Emotional balance, emotional peace instead of emotional control is the tone
Things will not be what they used to be. The struggle has come to an end

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Our relationships are our life
Our lifes are our relationships

WE are wheRe we Are to LIVEe our relationships
We do what we do to create memories with our relationships

We are not here to be great but authentic
We are not here to surpress but express

Sometimes too broken to heal
Other times too light to feel

Laugh and forgive
Build and emit

Move, Breathe, get out and choose
Inhale, exhale, get out and improve

Heal to be real
Feel, feel, feel

It´s time to live your love

Hey all,
thank you for being faithful readers and followers. I appreciate that here I have my secret place to share what i´m emotionally going through, heal and process my life in togetherness with you-

I have realised again, how important it is to watch your circles
The people you listen to, the people who want to advice you, what you read and listen to, everything tries to mold your reality and influence your life
This can have a tremendous effect on your behaviour and thoughts and then your life!
Those people can be anyone. Parents, friends, therapists, healers, enemies, colleagues
We need to start getting the connection to ourselves and listen only to our own hearts and get in touch with our spirit
Others have agendas too and they simply are not living our karma, our story, our feelings, they are not walking in our shoes...

Hermiting changes you and it can increase an incapability for relationships like I have at times, but you are less exposed to manipulation and bullshit from the world that clutters our inner voice
Sometimes we need to retreat from the world in order to come out reborn with new approach and outlooks for life
But we need to find balance within solitude and social engagement
A serious relationship saves you years of therapy I got told

Certainly I do not know it all and do not have the answer to everything, 
I´m just error and trial, myself
There is so much that I need to heal, work on, work through and overcome
Realising and letting go of what is not for us, is the hardest part...

I fall in Love, I realise my trust issues due to my experiences, too many expectations, I am sensitive, spiritual, loose ground at times which comes across as unreasonable and childish. 
Love never gets wise and it doesn´t need to

I´m a perfectionist, I question everything, every construct that is being told by the social norm, I question myself and others all the time
I go into temples to learn wisdom, on cruiseships, all around the world, just to make more experiences which hurt me, but teach me. 

Aren´t we all trying to make sense of life, love and what is happening through us?

It all made me richer and the more real I get, the more unreal the world gets
Maybe I went so far to rebuild my definition of it all. I had lost my believe in everything
So I am coming to a rest now. I want to become what society calls "normal",
Grounded, stabilize myself and grow roots that nurture, heal and build

My relationship to men has become deeper but also more difficult as I do not trust easylie anymore I guess everytime I meet someone whom I fall in Love with, it doesn´t work out, cause I am not the perfect Woman they see in me, and I act different than to what people think of how I am

I am who I am, healing myself in a very complex, paradox, superficial world where people are easylie distracted and expecations are high and unrealistic

There is also a lot of Love and peace in this world so let´s shift our focus on that

 I cry and I laugh about it all, since thankfully I can see the triviality of it all
I am grateful for everything, as I know that we are here for learning, growing, evolving although things feel like losses and acceptance is hard, but maybe they are actually gains....
Life is a paradox and Love is the gift we get by enduring it
Embrace it as an adventure and let it unfold in front of you
Logic is not always our best answer. Kindness is. Teamwork and keeping an open heart is
Most of the times we need to use our Soul and heart and be a bit more rebellious...

Tearing down my walls

We do not meet anyone just by accident.
Everyone we meet has their part in the story of our life, their life and the collective Story that the whole is creating.

Some are meant to trigger unhealed wounds, mirror you in order to remind you of surpressed issues, emotions, wishes and patterns.

When we meet a Soulmate, they mirror us with everything we fear, we want, we lack, we need.
We can basically read ourselves in them, but initially that is painful and confusing.
everything is paradox, seems like this comes from another world and in fact it does.
It usually is a past life connection and in your Souls contract it was agreed to meet at that time, that place, under those conditions and finally start to heal those surpressed needs and fears.
In some cases you can do this healing work together and that means you step into a romantic relationship that will fullfill all the dreams and wishes, desires you always had of a relationship.
In other cases, the fear that comes up is so intense, the confusion so intimidating, that your soulmate just opened wounds and surpressed needs, that now everyone on their own has to heal and they seperate again. This causes more pain than dealing with it in a loving communion.
Dealing with it in this lifetime does heal it out and not prolong it onto the next lifetime...

It is merely up to us and our choice, what we decide this relationship to be...

I have met some couples throughout my journeys who have made it and are healing and living with their Soulmate.
The shamans I was granted to work with, some of my Yogateachers. Together with their spouses they were able to create amazing healing work for them and by that for the entire world.
Their Love enabled them to travel the entire world and heal everyone and themselves in doing so.
By healing another, their vibration created healing energies so people who came to join their healing ceremonies, experienced the purest vibration of Love.

This requires a complete commitement for both partners to devote themselves to healing within the cosmic union meaning, their divine relationship. Soulmates are made in heaven and have a story to be lived, loved, shared and healed on earth!

Sadly, this has become very rare and people have become very confused by society,  social media and the lifestyles here in the west especially. The society is build to generate more single individuals than couples. The idea of romantic Love is controlling us subconsciously and the hope for it makes us get up every morning but once there is the chance of really living it, most of the people get so afraid that they fight it and curse it out of their lifes.....
So collective lonelieness is the outcome and a scoeity that can be controled over the wish by finding love.
Social Media tells us, everywhere waits something better, more beautiful lurks around the next corner. This is it´s purpose. It confuses. 
People have lost stamina to work through emotional issues with their partners. Stick to them when things get rough and stay openharted, loving an forgiving.

Yes, in order to live a balanced live and being able to give value to your relationship, one has to have a healthy, loving relationship with themselves first.
But nowadays flaking out in those alone times have became a habit and disrupt the creation of those deep, meaningful, healing bonds. Communication is always key. Knowing where the other stands, how they feel, what they need at this moment and how we can find ways of making it work. Day by day, moment to moment. 

When I lived in the temple, I hardly went on social media and it was vital in order to recuperate my own inner child and heal my mind, regain trust in myself and humanity.
Social Media creates missundertandings, missbehaviours and dischords in real human connections.
Yes it serves us our dopamin rush, our need of feeling wanted, needed and seen, but on the long run, it creates a disability for a real engagement and takes away a lot of our mental energy if not used cautiously.
This is what social media is created for. 
A copy of the real world to keep us distracted.
Illusions are deluding, emotions are being created by profile pictures and our own thoughts. 
Yes people meet over Instagram and use it as a dating App. 
Good luck for everyone on there to find a truthful Love.

We all have our escapes and look always for those places where we can decompress.
This is what the entire Yogamovement is about. Where is your happy place? Inside of me, the Yogis scream!
We are learning to create the hormones of love with our own effort by doing yoga, breathwork, shamanic practices, spiritual pracitce in general, food, sex or for some, scrolling through Instagram that may be their happy place. There is many escape rooms.

We have to acknowledge our addictions and communicate them with the people who care about us.
I have a terrible addiciton to solitude. It has become very dangerous I can see now.
It changes everything, but it also keeps me away from shallow living. 
But I admit, I have created walls around myself that even I do not know how to tear down...

Escape from the real world and its real relationships has always been there and I do not exclude myself from it. We need that time of recovery, self reflection and introspection to heal our possesiveness, our need to control and rejuvenating our sense of being free.
I think, as long as we are in this physical body, living this physical experience, we aren`t really free anyway, we aren´t really making the most liberated choices at all times in an unfree world, but this is another discussion....

Subsequently, I love you but I do not know how to handle it....

When you meet your Soulmate...don't fuck it up

Even If you meet the person you fall in Love with at first sight and feel you want to spend your life together, make huge plans, envision and live the best future, finally feeling as if you have arrived home
even if you know you have met your Soulmate when
Your world shakes up, your heart opens and you are crossing oceans for them

Even then, we are never in control and we do not know why things come to an end ....

soulmates might not be ready, you might not be ready, too much clutter might hold you back to step into your full potential with your Soulmate....

We fall in Love with the feeling of how we feel when we are around the other person.

Romantic Love, flirtatious love is something that keeps us trapped in Illusion....
It´s the fix that people who are trapped in serial monogamy are living.
After the first rush is over, they need a new flirt, the nex fix. It is based on looks, on fame on superficial values.

Yet If this other person is feeling the same, it can be reprocipicated and turned into reality.
If you both recognize you are Soulmates, miracles are possible.
Mayor shifts can happen. In your life. this is the miracle of true healing...
But this needs commitement and courage. Effort and a lot of unconditional Love. Authenticity, Vulnerability and luck I guess. 
The Luck to meet your Soulmate and not fuck it up once they have arrived...

It is the greatest luck to meet the right person. at the right time in the right place.

Soulmates are not the easy love kind of type. It get's rough and uncomfortable because they reflect to us our deepest shadows, our fears, our inadequacy but also our best self.
Soulmates show us our best lifes, the most valued, beautiful version of ourselves and our spirits are lifted to supernatural heights that make us realise everything we ever wanted to do.

Soulmate Love is not for everyone because it involves healing, becoming authentic to the bones, becoming honest with who you are and what you really want.
Because you will recieve it with your Soulmate. with your soulmate you can achieve anything, if you can do the work together....

Only when you are ready to put the guards down, put effort into the relationship, only when you dare to love unconditionally, forgive and allow the deepest healing to take place by sincerely caring for the other person then your wish fullfillments will come true.

Soulmate Love doesn't happen to all of us. Only if you are lucky. 
It is a karmically thing that not all of us are blessed to experience in this lifetime...

And be aware that when it has arrived, you are daring to walk the path in communion and not let it pass you out of pride, fear or whatever silly reason....